MOVarazzi

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

158. Euphemisms

What To Say When You Don’t Want To Offend Anyone:

  • pushy = “has initiative”
  • smells bad = “fragrant”
  • not talented = “working on developing his potential”
  • clumsy = “physical in surprising ways”
  • messy = "collector with varied interests displayed in a non-structured style"
  • eavesdropper = “always in the know”
  • nosy = “extremely interested in others”
  • late = "not confined by traditional time restraints"
  • tacky dresser = “brave wardrobe choices”
  • gossipy = “creative story-teller”
  • thief = "unclear on proper boundaries of possession"
  • bratty = “energetic”
  • watches too much TV, couch potato = "unwinds through meditation, or sometimes with media outlets"
  • emails too much = "likes to stay connected"
  • wastes time = "sometimes a tad bit unfocused"
  • fat = "appreciates delicious food, somewhat of a gourmet"
  • horrible driver = "risk-taker"
  • won't leave the house = "risk-averse" 
  • lazy = “tired”
  • mentally unstable, possibly dangerous = "confused"
  • interrupts constantly = “wants to be involved in the conversation”
  • loser = “second place winner”
  • no = “sure, let me get back to you”
  • I don't have time for that = "What a great opportunity for someone else!"
  • ugly = “plain, but in a good way”
  • ugly= “wholesome, all natural”
  • unattractive = “earthy”
  • tastes bland = “I’m sure some people like it, my palate is just not very developed”
  • poison = see above
  • disgusting = ditto
  • rip off, waste of money = “cost-prohibitive”
  • piece of junk = "mass-produced"
  • hung-over = “touch of the flu”
  • hung-over = “stomach bug”
  • obnoxious = “really social, almost what I would consider too social”
  • loud = “bothering my ear-drums a little bit”
  • old = “not really that old”
  • old = “what do you consider old?”
  • yucky interior of a house, including 1970’s avocado-green shag carpeting = “slightly dated décor”
  • ready to gut entire house = “might need some minor updates”
  • mean, not helpful = “seems busy”
  • downright ignores you = "distracted"
  • bitchy = "not that friendly"
  • hate her, can’t be in the same room with her = “I don’t know her that well”
  • opinionated = “likes to blog”
MOV
("Melee Of Verbiage")

2 comments:

When you write a comment, it makes me feel like I won the lottery or at the very least like I ate an ice-cream sundae. (This has nothing to do with the fact that I did just eat an ice-cream sundae.)